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I remember. I remember every taint of scars on that day. Even till now, there is a little hook angling on my heart. I remember. It is just a super crazy day. Well, just business as usual. Everyday is madness. What's different today is the harping from my boss. She's just constantly hunting down on me to get her work done. What doesn't do justice is that I am supposed to get her stuffs done, but I have yet to plan out the work next week, in which I am leading. I was even lectured that I am supposed to work on stuffs given by everyone else immediately. Okay. Now, so where am I in this picture? I know, stuffs that I do falls under the category of "That's your stuffs". No wonder no one talks about teamwork. It's better that you die rather than me. Sad นะ. Sad to see how selfish people is. Well, I was determined to finish as much as I can. To get rid of those "That's your stuffs" stuffs, I just don't want to screw up my own things. I know, I will then be subjected under heavy... (more)

Mad Musings 2011
Ripping my guts out a new journey!
Ok so after years of battling my weight I have finally come to the point where there is nothing left for me to do but rip my guts out. Let us go back to sum up the beginning of this journey. I was young I ran and swam a lot every day so I was healthy. I met guy got married then pregnant at that point my body betrayed me I developed gestational diabetes and went from healthy to 250 lbs of unhappy unhealthy. I did what I could to loose weight with diet and exorcize but lost only down to 184 when surprise pregnancy. Apparently birth control and antibiotics don't mix well. Once again my old friend GD shows up and pushes me to 287. Not happy not healthy again. Fixed the pregnancy issue so that it doesn't happen again that and the fact it had become an issue with the rest of my health from complications. Back to working on getting happy and healthy. Made it down to 190 when TADA thyroid cancer!!! This lovely gem shoves me straight into the 300s very unhappy very unhealthy. What can... (more)

Muslim Teenagers
Teens -
How to Live Your Life in This World the Islamic Way

By Fred D McfarlandDear Teenager,You are now in the prime of your lives! Here are a few tips for you muslim teenagers out there! This is the period of exertion and this is the period of worship, and this is the period of Daw'ah, and this is the period of movement and activity! So, it is upon you to turn towards Islam, learn it, implement it and call to it. Knowledge, action and propagation! If this chance passes you, it is a golden opportunity that can never be repeated. How plentiful is the free time during college days, and how wonderful are the college days for turning towards Allah, and how wonderful are the college days for worship, and how wonderful are the college days for Daw'ah to your colleagues and friends, those you know and do not know!It is easy for you to learn, to act, and to teach. If you do not do this within this period, you have let an opportunity pass you by that will never show itself again. Time is not replaceable. You might... (more)

Daily Devotion
Enduring The Pain With God
Date: Friday, May 29, 2015 Chapters: Job 10-13 Message Title: Enduring The Pain With God Hello My Friend, Sometimes the pain we are in, whether it is physical, mental, or spiritual, is so unbearable that we just want God to end it all, even if that means He takes us home to heaven. God knows how far to let us suffer before He gives us relief, regardless of what it is. So, aside from committing suicide, which God never wants us to do, our best and only option to endure the pain is to seek comfort in Him. “I will extol thee, O LORD; for thou hast lifted me up, and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me. O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. O LORD, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the... (more)

Most Gracious,
Most Merciful

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim Dear Allah, People would say that you are not on the internet. So there is no point in talking to you there. But you're everywhere. And you listen to everyone. Even people like me. Dear Allah, I am sorry. I have been selfish and petty and vengeful. I have been impatient and inconsiderate. I have been ungrateful. I have thought bad of you. Please Allah, Give me another chance. I haven't been this sad in a long time. I want to make amends. To all those I disappoint. Please Allah, For you are the one who has the power to change the heart of your creation. You. And you only. Amiin.

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